The Cognitive Triangle
Written by Dara Sweatt
I feel like a broken record sometimes when people ask me for advice on things like overcoming emotional eating disorders or shifting my mindset from negative to positive.
There is a HUGE reason as to why I always emphasize positive affirmations, gratitude, and prayer (whatever that looks like for you, for me it looks like talking to Jesus) and going to therapy.
It honestly took years to realize how much my thoughts had to do with my depression and my anxiety.
One thing my therapist works on with me is something called the Cognitive Triangle.
The Cognitive triangle is based on the work of psychologists Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck who emphasized the need for attitude change in order to promote and maintain behavioral modification.
Basically, they mapped out the diagram that shows how our thoughts, emotions and behaviors are all interconnected with each other, and influence one another.
The main concept of the triangle is that self-awareness and the ability to think about one’s thoughts (or metacognition if we wanna use fancy words) are the keys to start managing those thoughts, feelings and resulting behaviors that feel out of our control.
There are three points to the triangle (shown above): Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors.
Most of the time, our thoughts are on autopilot. Specifically the ones that are easy to reach for because they repeat frequently.
Mine were always that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t capable of doing anything right or being loved.
It can be extremely difficult to realize they are there and to interrupt them. One way to do it is write down the negative thoughts you have within a day, and later work to categorize those thoughts and begin to recognize patterns.
OVERGENERALIZATION: You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
MENTAL FILTER: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened.
DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE: You reject positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS: You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion.
Emotions can be distinguished from thoughts because they will take the form of one word. If you say, “I feel like you don’t care,” that’s a thought, but if you say, “I feel sad (because the thought that is creeping in that you don’t care),” then sadness is the emotion.
The go-to emotion is often anger, but if we dig a bit deeper, we might find a different reaction.
If you recognize that each time you experience anger, the underlying emotion is actually disappointment, sadness, or hurt, that will create a very different behavioral reaction than just anger.
It’s important to increase your emotional vocabulary. After an emotionally triggering event, write down the first emotion that comes to mind.
Explore the emotions that lie below the surface of the initially identified emotion. You can ask yourself, “when I feel angry, I feel…” and find three different kinds of emotions.
Recognize the shift and you will probably find it easier to manage/communicate in a completely different way.
Behaviors are dependent on both our thoughts and emotions. When we are able to change them, our behaviors will naturally change.
We can also shift our emotions by creating changes in our behaviors directly by forcing ourselves to exercise even if we don’t want to or going out with friends despite your anxiety, etc.
Breathing exercises can also be useful in creating a shift in anxiety or other emotional states.
I take 5-6 deep breaths when I’m emotionally whacked. Four counts in and four counts out. There are several breathing exercises you can try to see what fits you best!
I know this is a long one, but all of these points really helped me and I hope they do the same for you! Awareness is the first step to recovery.
Cite Resources:
What is Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) By Robyn Huntley, LMFT | PrairieCare (prairie-care.com)
Using the Cognitive Triangle to Combat Anxiety and Depression - Blog (sinews.es)
8 Breathing Exercises for Anxiety You Can Try Right Now (healthline.com)
